2002-12-05 - 6:33 p.m.
Whenever I start thinking I'm meeting a cool parent at the Tot Lot, and I start getting all excited, they blurt out something like this:
1) Did you breastfeed? (Damn. Where did that come from? I did breastfeed. And, I'm not opposed to discussing breastfeeding. As a matter of fact, I find it quite interesting. I like to talk about breasts and bodily functions and personal things and all things baby, but talk about a non sequitur. Let's head there gradually. What are people trying to assess by asking that question......What's your daughter's name? Do you come here a lot? Did you breastfeed? It makes my hair stand on end. Why do so many people think they have the right to question women (Sonny does NOT get it as much) on parenting decisions.
2) Our child requires a lot of attention. He's...(long pause)
Me: (jokingly) High maintenance?
Him: High NEED. We prescribe to the Dr. Blah's method of parenting. Some children are blah blah blah. They require special attention regarding blah blah blah. Parenting is my full-time job.
Me: (verbally) Ahhhh. Hmm. Uh huh. Really? (internally) Whatever.
-OR-
I blow it on my own. Yesterday, I was having an interesting conversation with a woman while our kids played and I said the phrase, "It's a crap-shoot." She did not respond. She looked down at the ground. It took me a second to realize I'd offended her by saying this phrase in front of her child. In my own defense, it was not really IN FRONT of her child. He was just running like a madman in our general area. Doh. My bad. I guess I don't want Baby Lou to say that either. But really, I don't know if it counts as a curse. I want a respectful, non-potty-mouthed child, but I don't really care that much if she says, "It's a crap-shoot." Nonetheless, I'll try harder to watch my mouth from now on. No more potty mouth. She's listening.
One more thing about that Tot Lot....every non-verbal kid there seems to have a sign for "airplane." We are so in the flight path.
Cool parents, sucky parents, obnoxious parents, verbose parents, tightly-wound parents, interesting parents. Who will be there tomorrow? It's a crap-shoot.
